Corner Office – Can You Pass a C.E.O. Test?

Corner Office – Can You Pass a C.E.O. Test? – Question – NYTimes.com

Impressive leadership. Never heard of Mr. Brenneman but some of the stuff he talks about is first rate stuff – answering emails in 24 hours, the IQ “test” and the thoughts on meeting lengths.

I’m a bit of a Nazi with meetings – I’ve been to far too many over the years where my time was wasted and nothing was accomplished. When you come to one of my meetings you can expect the following:

• An agenda sent at least 12 hours before the meeting listing the topics in order of importance. I’ll cancel the meeting rather than do one without an agenda.
• It will start on time. ON TIME.
• It will end on time. ON TIME.
• No more than 5 people will be invited and if you’re invited there you are expected to contribute. (I prefer meetings of 5 max including me)
• Each action item will be assigned to someone. Nothing is left to “let’s pass this on to next time”.
• We’ll make decisions that result in stuff being done.
• I won’t waste your fucking time. If I can do without the meeting I will.

BTW: Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon, actually went to a distribution centre to do some work like a warehouse worker. Good stuff. CEOs need to know how stuff works.

Put the coffee down.

I was at work when I realized that I needed to take the Browns to the SuperBowl (aka. CRAP, SHIT) so off I went. I don’t usually like going at work but at least the toilet paper at work is pretty good and the washroom is pretty clean if a bit old.

In any case I’m doing my business when someone comes into the washroom, grabs some paper towels or something like that and then leaves. All is good except that HE TURNED THE LIGHTS OFF (the light switch is by the door).

Yes, you read that right. I was shitting at work in the dark. Well, not entirely in the dark, there are a couple lights at one end which were the emergency lights (think night lights) that stay on all the time but from where I was (it’s a big washroom and I’m in a stall) those lights were the equivalent of a lighter being held up 25 feet away from me.

I waited for a moment thinking the guy would realize that there was someone TAKING A SHIT when he turned the lights off but to no avail. I thought about what to do and pulling my pants up and taking a walk to the switch was not a real option (it was near 30 feet away) and I tried to think of who would be nearby who could turn the light on for me but I wasn’t about to share my act of shitting with anyone else.

I wasn’t mad at all, I thought it was really funny. Funny enough that while I was figuring out what to do that I texted Mike to let him know my situation. In any case I used my iPhone as a light and wiped extra long to make sure I got it all.

Next time I’m bringing a flashlight.

Madoff

Fun Fact: If you invested less than $300k with Bernie Madoff you actually would have done better with him last year than on the stock market because FDIC guarantees the first $250,000 of your money so you’d be sitting on that much money now. On the stock market you likely would have lost in the area of 30-40% (I lost 32%!!).

Great Job Seabass

I love all forms of racing for example, I crawl out of bed at 4:30am during the European swing of the Formula 1 schedule every year and I’ve been doing that for years despite the fact that I have a PVR but I think the racing I most enjoy following is endurance racing and this weekend we were treated to a humdinger of a race at the 12 Hours of Sebring.

Audi has their new R15 car their and was racing it for the first time while Peugeot was ready to dethrone the Audi after being faster at LeMans last year (but less strategically capable). For 12 hours the two leading cars slugged it out and were within 45 seconds of each for nearly the whole event. It was a high speed duel between the 3 drivers on each team on a bumpy track that is known to tear cars up and be highly punitive of mistakes.

In any case I gotta give props to Sebastian Bourdias, late in the race he starting to pull away from the Audi when he picked up a rear tire puncture and had to make an extra pit stop. To close the gap he laid out a set of blistering laps including setting a new track record and put his team back in position to win only to have his teammate fail to match his pace for the final stint. Seabass was awesome during his double stint – he was driving the wheels off his car and it’s great to see a F1 driver spending his free weekends driving other cars.

I can’t wait for LeMans when Peugeot tries to bring the title back to France and Seabass gets another shot at it. Hopefully Peugeot gives him some decent teammates.

Lamb Fries

Lamb Fries

My curiosity in food does not extend to eating these. Does yours?

Who?

For years I’ve read a large number of those celeb trash blogs like Popaholic or Superficial and more and more I’m realizing I have no idea who the celebs they are reporting on are. I don’t even know who the hot ladies are. What is this show “Gossip Girl” that you speak of? Who is Zac Efron?

I don’t really care I suppose, I used to read those blogs for the giggles and the snark and it was much funnier when it was Woody Harrelson doing something. Now Woody doesn’t get any pub unless he murders someone.

Ivy Leaguers

Ivy Leaguers tend to be the subject of a lot of scorn especially because so many of them have been at the wheel of the current economic collapse but they’re not all bad. I worked with a bit more than a half dozen Ivy Leaguers and I recall that in my first meeting with each one that one thought that was clearly ringing through my head was, “This guy/gal is smarter than me!” (I do not concede this point readily), I was clearly playing in a new league once I was in on meetings or projects with these people.

It was a league you don’t get to play in too often in Vancouver (no offense Vancouver but Ivy Leaguers don’t tend to settle here) and it was a very good experience for me. They were faster thinkers than I had previously ever worked with and it really kept you on your toes when you were looking to persuade them or defend your arguments.

On the flipside, these Ivy Leaguers obviously haven’t spent much time in the trenches – their ideas and thinking were clearly those of people who haven’t rolled up their sleeves. Their ideas would sometimes conflict with reality and what was happening on the ground – good in concept, not so good in execution. With some elbow grease, of course, those concepts could be turned to useful products.

The lessons I drew from it?

1. Studying in school pays off. And being really smart counts a lot of the time
2. Ivy Leaguers may have ruined the country but some of them are useful.
3. When you play in the big leagues, come prepared.
4. If you’re going to work with an Ivy Leaguer, find a way to get them into the trenches. You’ll both be better off as a result.

Managing your kitchen

In the course of 7 days I served up two 4 course meals to a table of 4 and now I’m watching the Food Network where a wedding of 400 is being served up and it reminds how challenging it is to keep your heads about your when you are preparing long meals.

What I served:

Day 1 (Sunday)

• Wintermelon soup with prosciutto and dried scallops
• Seared five spice sea scallops with sauted pea shoots
• Braised pork belly with sauted Shanghai bok choy and tea infused rice
• Lemon pudding with whipped cream (homemade of course)

Day 2 (Saturday)

• Ceasar salad with flakes of reggiano and crumbs of bacon
• Organic carrot soup
• Apple cranberry stuffed roast pork loin with yam fries
• Lemon pudding with whipped cream

I’ve long learned that when making multi-course meals where you are both chef and eater that you have to choose items that don’t require a great deal of work during dinner – as much of the food as possible needs to be ready to go in a few minutes. All the ingredients that you’re going to add as you serve need to be set aside as well and ready to go when you’re serving.

With limited kitchen space you then have challenges such as where to put your pots and pans as they get used and unused. Same goes for all the plateware – if you want to keep your service going you aren’t likely to have a lot of time to rinse them and get them into the dishwasher. I tried to keep my kitchen tidy by washing and cleaning my pots and plates as they are used before dinner so that my kitchen is clear when dinner service begins.

It starts even before that actually. I’m working off a limited set of bowls, plates, pans and pots and I have to plot out which bowls and plates get used and decide which pans will saute what and what pots will braise what etc. Before I start any cooking I have every item I’m going to use catalogued so that I don’t end up short of equipment and I’m also not caught with dirty equipment at the wrong time.

It’s a lot of work but the meal in the end is always nice.

Right of Way

I’m not usually a stubborn, inflexible type – I try to find common ground with people in most cases and will admit to being a pushover sometimes however there’s one area where I’m never a pushover and I present a level of stubbornness that seems insane.

Anytime I’m on foot, on bike or driving I’m a mad man of right of way, if I have the right of way you can expect me to fight you tooth and nail for it. I don’t care if it’s me on foot and you in 18 wheeler, if I have the right of way I will not yield it without a big fight.

At crosswalks I do not take a small step out and then wait meekly for traffic to stop, I make eye contact with the nearest car and I walk into the intersection. The car is left with the choice to stop, to drive around or drive through me; I take away the choice of just driving by.  You’re making a right turn and I’ve got the right of way and I’m just about to step into the intersection? You had better plan on stopping cause I’m not. A few weeks back I actually elbowed a car who insisted on going by me when I had the right of way – I doubt he felt it but it was just reflective of my personality when it comes to this type of stuff.

The same goes for when I’m driving and people are merging – if it’s my turn and you’re being difficult, I will lean my car into you until you cave. I know how big my car is and I know how close I can get to you – most drivers will cave because they don’t know how big their car is and they’re afraid I’ll hit them (I won’t – I just won’t give you any space).

This is not an attempt to be a dick or anything – I just insist on my right of way. I don’t believe in being a meek pedestrian, rider or driver, I will be firm in my actions and clear in my willingness to assert my rights and you had better get out of my way.

The Tiger Program

So Charles Barkley, the owner of one of the ugliest golf swings in the history of the universe, has a show on the Golf Channel where Hank Haney, Tiger Wood’s coach, is working with him on fixing his horrible mechanics. Barkley gets asked how hard he wants to train and asks what Tiger does at which point Haney explains Tiger’s day as starting at 6am with 90 minutes of lifting and then a non-stop day of hitting till about 5pm.

Barkley agrees to it and ends up hitting around a thousand golf balls in his day. For those who haven’t golfed before, hitting a thousand golf balls is HARD WORK. Even when I’m in shape I wake up stiff the next day after hitting about 80-100 balls. The stresses that a golf swing puts on your body are pretty high.

In any case, I find myself hugely impressed by what the real superstars athletes do to be the best. Tiger practices in the area of 40-60 hours a week and hits thousands of golf balls a week while building a body that would not look out of place on a football field (Have you seen his guns?). Kobe Bryant spent the summer making several hundred thousand shots (not taking – as he says, he doesn’t take shots, he MAKES shots). Michael Schumacher had a ripped 6 pack body and he did his work sitting down in a car – when he got out of a car he had barely worked up a sweat, he was that prepared.

While I can fault the dirtbags on Wall Street for stealing money I can’t fault the top athletes for making big piles of money when they work that hard for it.